Some of the writing here is promising Jordan. However it needs better proofreading - quite a few spelling errors. Also you slip into past tense in the scene direction towards the end. A big no no. Be careful to re-read your work before you accept it for yourself as finished.
Some of the writing here is promising Jordan. However it needs better proofreading - quite a few spelling errors. Also you slip into past tense in the scene direction towards the end. A big no no. Be careful to re-read your work before you accept it for yourself as finished.
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